he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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