I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
