thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
