she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
