he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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