I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
