I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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