singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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