i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
