16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
