I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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