There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
