Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
