Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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