the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
