I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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