Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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