do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My ass is underappreciated
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
