I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
