Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
