Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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