Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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