We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
