halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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