If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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