It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
