yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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