Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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