i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
