belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
