hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
