And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Dick very happy bro
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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