She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
