I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
