Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
