We're like a lot better than the average bears
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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