I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
