i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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