...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
