please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
