I think im going to throw up on grandma
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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