Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
