Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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