And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
