What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
