I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
