i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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