and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
