im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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