you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
