I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You were trust falling into bushes
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
