so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
